Stop already with the emails about updating my blog. You try being interesting, clever, satirical, and funny on demand. My Muse and I have been otherwise occupied. I’m really trying to get going on The Great Ex-patriot Novel, but I’m getting nowhere fast. It’s not like my mates don’t provide plenty of material; Weybridge is a little Peyton Place, filled with swirling intrigue. But it’s all so banal. And, of course, there’s the looming matter of being deported, which is growing nearer. And I’m horny. Strangely, I want very much to have nice, uncomplicated sex…with Jerry. You figure it out, because I can’t. I have no idea how my mind works.
Despite a busy week socially, the creative well is dry. Thankfully, James came through with a guest blog. In the interests of honest journalism, I have not edited it, except for spelling.
James & Teresa’s Guest Blog – aka The Eagles Were Landed
Saturday 16th September
It is the occasion of Teresa’s birthday, and we head off to Heathrow to catch the BA67 to Philadelphia. Luckily, there was plenty of room, and our standby tickets were no problem. We boarded the plane, and discovered our seats were in Traveller Plus. However, we didn’t have much time to settle before the crew kindly moved us into a couple of spare seats in Club. The next seven hours passed very comfortably with fine foods, wines and cocktails aplenty. A particularly nice touch was Teresa being presented the gift of a bottle of Heidsieck champagne to help her celebrate.
We landed on time at Philadelphia International Airport, and proceeded to Immigration. I was pleasantly surprised to find that there was no major queue, and even more surprised to find that the locals had to walk further to get through immigration than us ‘aliens’. After a couple of minutes friendly grilling from the gun-toting officer, we were out and heading downtown by cab.
We arrived at The Latham Hotel, and checked in to our room. WOW! The room was really lovely, and it had some additional features – gifts from the hotel placed there by Alex (the General manager, and a nephew of Jeano), and a nice bottle of red wine added by Stuart (Jeano’s stepson). This was all totally unexpected, and a really nice touch! We freshened up, and headed out to explore. After a walk around Rittenhouse Square, we found ourselves ensconced in The Black Sheep Pub. As this sold all the regular British beer, we settled in until the weariness of the days travel got the better of us, and we returned to the Latham to sleep.
Sunday 17th September
We rose early in anticipation of the main event. Jeano had scored us two tickets for Philadelphia Eagles vs. New York Giants, and this was going to be a blast. Teresa donned Jeano’s coveted McNabb shirt, thereby proudly displaying her allegiance to the Eagles. I, on the other hand, sported an NEC Harlequins rugby shirt. This was a cunning ruse to confuse the locals, and hide my support for the Giants. It appeared to work, and I was relieved, having only seen about 10 Giants shirts among the 68,500 crowd! The game started, and the Giants were soon 7-0 in the lead. My joy was short-lived though, as the Eagles then proceeded to score 24 unanswered points, and sack my QB no less than 8 times. By the 4th quarter, I had pretty much resigned myself to copious amounts of abuse from, well, from everyone around me, plus doubtless a text or three from Jeano in the UK. However, the mighty Giants fought back, and tied the game at 24-24 by full time. It’s fair to say the crowd were pretty pissed at this point, but not as pissed as they were when Plaxico Burress caught a game winning TD reception in overtime to win the game! Eagles 24-30 Giants. GO GIANTS!!! GO GIANTS!!! (Jeano will probably edit that bit out, but if she leaves it in, I will not reveal the content of the text she sent me after the game – very unbecoming of a lady!) The subway journey was ‘interesting’ on the way back into town because a) It was crammed full of unhappy Eagles fans, and b) it went past all the stops we stopped at on the way there. Fortunately, its first stop was our stop (some place called Walnut-Locust), so we were OK. We freshened up, and hit the Black Sheep to celebrate – sorry – commiserate
Monday 18th September
We bid farewell to the Latham Hotel, but not before we met Alex. A thoroughly nice bloke he was, and certainly seems to have the respect of his staff, judging by the way they hung on his every word. We left him with some gifts from Blighty, and made our way to 30th St. Station to catch our train to Manhattan.
I will end my guest blog there, since the remainder of the trip was a fairly usual beer/shopping/sightseeing/shopping/beer/sleep type of affair. I will mention we managed to meet up with my friends Mark and Andy who were over from the UK the same week. It’s always nice to bump into friends when on foreign soil.
So, in summary, thank you Jeano. Thank you for the tips on places to go. Thank you for putting us in touch with Alex for accommodation. Thank you for the shirt you lent Teresa. Thank you for he excellent seats at the ‘Linc’ for the Eagles game. And thanks to the Eagles for giving me the result I never dreamed I’d witness. Sweet!!!!!