Of course, celebrating Christmas wasn’t over on Christmas night. Unless you’re a Titans fan.
I was doing my Second Annual Boxing Day Dinner, another venerable Weybridge tradition. Or as it’s known in the strange Jewish/Italian/American World of Jeano ‘Give Me Louis (Vuittan) or Don’t Even Bother’ Day.
Last year, it was still Chanukah on Santo Stephano Day so I lit the candles and said the blessing in Hebrew and Italian to cover all my bases. Chanukah was early this year.
BooBoo rang early in the morning to announce that Cassie had nine puppies! She rang back an hour later to say “Ten!”. “Bar the doors in case she tries to get outta Dodge City” I advised. Not that I would have thought any less of Cassie. And I did kind of relish the image of CheeseBoy with an eyedropper of milk feeding the tiny bundles of joy.
I’m going to be mean now and talk about someone. She should feel absolutely free to comment with her side of the story. Trigger was a terrible mother. It’s a fact. BooBoo’s other lurcher had a bunch of puppies and immediately tried to book herself on a non-stop to LA. Other dogs, and humans, had to step in. In a flight of fancy (and a lot of Zinfy) I half convinced Boo that Trigger was ‘counseling’ Cassie about what to do after the blessed event: #1: Steal an Amex, preferably a gold one.
Not to worry. According to reports, and the 7,962 pictures she’s emailed me, Cassie is a Stepford Dog and takes her responsibilities seriously. She barely has time to go out and poop.
Anyway, Boo and the Boy came for Boxing Day dinner, along with my friend, Hester. Of Sam Bric fame…”Oh, Jeano. A brand new Ghost skirt in a size 12 for an awesome, looking good Warm Autumn just came in…” Reply: Click. I am so there.
I made BooBoo check that all of her plastic was in her wallet, just to be on the safe side.
Dinner was lovely, and Boo has obviously been hanging with me too long. She went home and took the piss out of Stuart on Facebook about how great the meatballs were. Well done, Girlfriend!
We got into a discussion about Christmas carols. I was talking about the caroling at the Salvation Army on Christmas Day.
“They sang ‘Away in a Manger” I reported. I. of course, did not sing; those people have enough problems what with being homeless and everything.
“I read in the song sheet that it says ‘No crib for a bed’. How come? You keep telling me it’s a ‘cot’ not a ‘crib’. Don’t people get confused? I did. I pictured poor Baby Jesus rolling off the side of an Army cot. Maybe Trigger was babysitting.”
Cheeseboy snickered “No surprise there” but BooBoo took the question literally. “It was actually a trough because there was no room at the inn and they were in a stable.”
“Yeah; I know. I read the book” I told Boo, going for just a touch of sarcasm, but not meaness. Really. “The point, BooBoo, is that all you English people sing a hymn about a kid in a crib. Why don’t you say ‘no cot for a bed’? I had to stop the caroling and correct them all.”
I love winding BooBoo up.
I’m sure enquiring minds want to know. It’s an American carol. It was written in Philadelphia in 1885, where ‘cribs’ are called… well… cribs and they don’t make cream cheese. It is the second most popular carol in Britain. Don’t take my word for it. Google said that was the result in a 1996 Gallop Poll. I think it got beat by ‘Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer.’
New Year’s will be relatively quiet; I’m going to a house party at friends’. Perfectly okay with me. I’m not into pubs and assholes because it’s New Year’s Eve. On the 2nd, I have a Hen Do, which will probably more than compensate for a tame New Year’s Eve.
I need my wits about me, not soaked in Zinfy anyway, to do my pools for the Bowl Games. I’ll be glued to my computer on the 1st; it’s Penn State vs LSU in the Capital One Bowl.
And Sunday is the showdown. Yeah, sorry. Here it comes.
The Saints clinched the NFC South despite the two losses; they’re the top seed. The Cards won the West, and the Vikings stole the Norris from the Pack. With me so far? The loathsome ‘Boys beat the Redskins last week, prompting a nightmare in Philly. It all comes down to Sunday’s game. If the Eagles win, they clinch the NFC East and claim the all important bye. If the ‘Boys win, they clinch, and might bye. Minnesota could help the Birds by losing, but the ball is really on the Eagles’ 35 yard line, if you get what I’m saying.
I can’t wait for Sunday night!
Note to Eamonn: By the way, the G-men are on vacation after Sunday. Eliminated! And won’t Shaun O’Hara be lonely at the Pro Bowl, Ed? Six Eagles made it. De Sean Jackson is the first player ever voted in to start both offensively and on special teams. Need some matches for that Eli jersey?